I was finally tired of it. As I reclined in my chair, exhausted, I felt it slowly move around me. I well knew that if I tried to catch it, it would run away again. So I sat there quietly, pretending not to notice it, not to see it. I closed my eyes. Then, I felt a movement close to me which caused me to open my eyes. A tiny little figure was climbing on to my chair - it was a boy, just about five years or so ! He managed to climb on to my chair, then stepping on his tiny arms he jumped to the table and sat in front of me.
“Aele” I exclaimed, chiding him affectionately, “What mischief is this ? What will happen if you fall down !”
“Nothing will happen, because I will not fall down !” replied the child
“Why have you come, kaNNu ?”
“I came to tell you a story, just like the other day. Would you like to listen to it ?”, asked the child
“Of course ! Do tell me raja payale”, I said.
He then started his story, and as his narration proceeded, I felt much lighter in my heart.
I know what all happened in my house before I was born, because my mother repeated it to me lakhs and crores of times ! Amma used to consider her marriage a surprise. She never bothered with the prospective matches her father used to bring. Hundreds of horoscopes would he bring hoping for a match. Finally, after all the matching, he short-listed three and asked my mother to select one. She flushed with shyness and ran away. Chinnamma (Amma’s mother) said, “You have no sensibilities How will she be able to say anything if you ask her like that ? It would be more proper if you call the boy here so that she can also see him.”
When my father came, he was obviously quite stiff. He did not even eat the snacks offered to him satisfactorily. He left soon saying that he would consult his mother and inform them.
That day, Amma went around the Thulasi maadam praying, “Thaaye ! Para devathe ! Please finalize my marriage with him only.” This was a secret she buried within herself then. Much later in their married life, when father once accused her saying, “You dont have any affection for me ! You have regard for your side of the family only”, she was highly piqued and told him about this.
Appa yearned very much for my arrival as was Amma. She used to playfully ask him, “When the child is born, would he be like you or me ?” and before he could respond, she would reply herself “It will be beautiful if it is like me !”
Immediately, Appa would say, “If he becomes like me, he will be very smart, intelligent.”
Amma would mock him saying, “Ade appa ! Your intelligence ! Do you know how many shirts and pants you have ?” to which Appa would retort, “You only know enough to admire your own beauty. Go and have a closer look in the mirror !” But the fact was that Appa was truly smitten by her and himself admired her beauty. Would he otherwise spent so many hours just gazing at her face like that ?
Though both Appa and Amma were desirous of having a child, they were too shy to talk about it to others. They were eagerly looking to the family elders to talk about it. More than anybody, Appa’s grandmother gave voice to her anxiety. She was keen that a child should be born to my father soon so that she could pamper the child for at least an year before death should come to her.
After Amma and Appa were married, grandmother used to spend a lot of time braiding Amma’s hair in different styles and beautifying her in different fashions. She desired very much that I should be born early. She used to visit various astrologers. Come rain or shine, nothing deterred her in this quest. Poor old lady ! “The dasa has to change.. Sun has to come to Budh’s house.. Since Guru is in the fifth house, the child will excel the father” they would tell her. “It will be nice if it is a boy” the Alampet astrologer said.
“He has asked us to perform Nāga Prathista in the next dasa..” she used to prattle every day after listening to the different astrologers.
Appa would feign complete disinterest in her talk, though his ears would be wide open to her words and he absorbed whatever she said. Many elders recommended a pilgrimage to Jambukeswaram or Sethu. I was born during that time.
Before I was born, Appa and Amma had engaged in many entertaining quarrels over whether I would be a boy or a girl. After a dream, mother believed it would be a girl. Her mother had apparently appeared in the dream and had handed over a girl child to her, advising her to keep it safe. Appa was hoping I would be a boy, but then he could not get such enlightening dreams !
Anyway, I was born. Father’s grandmother was all smiles and couldnt close her mouth. Poor lady ! She had so much love. She was ever ready to stretch her legs out and laying me down, bathe me after applying oil and powder. She used me feed me with castor oil when I cried in protest.
There was a lot of bally-ho over my naming. Amma wanted to name me after her father but was hesitant to openly mention it. Appa was not too bothered about my name - he was just satisfied that his dream of a boy has been fulfilled. “Are you sure it was your mother who came in your dream ? Did you see clearly if it was a girl or a boy ?” he would taunt her, smugly. His heart was not in work. He would return home early from work and just keep gazing at the pale face of my mother and me sleeping most of the time by her side.
Oh yes - I was talking about my name. Appa’s mother and granny unanimously said, “Keep the family deity’s name !” Seeing Appa’s hesitation, she said firmly “We will name him Subramanyam and call him Mani”
Appa betook Amma’s opinion on this. “Let it be as your Mother and grandmother wish”
Appa, thinking that she was feeling hurt, tried to placate her by saying, “Dont be silly. How can we all call him if we name him after your father ? Your Chinnamma, brothers and sisters will not use it. So lets do as Mother says. We will name him Subramanyam.”
Amma smiled at this and said, “Very smart ! You talk so smartly. But you seem to have forgotten my father’s name. Dont you really remember ?” she asked. Appa recalled his father-in-law’s name only then !
That evening when Amma’s father visited, Appa received him saying “We have named the child after you !” Among the Gods who grant wishes, isnt the father-in-law a real one after all ?
As per the wishes of Amma and granny, my name was finalized. But then who uses that name ? Appa calls me “Pokkiri kunju” or “Raja payale”. Amma uses a rather long one- “chinna kili - thanga kili - kunju kannaa - mani - my dear Rajamani” ! In Amma’s home, I am “Raji’s son” and in Appa’s, “Ambi’s son”. Let it be any name. They all poured their affection on me.
My birthday came. Father’s friends swamped us with their gifts. A dozen soft balls, thirty gowns, twelve silver items and two dozen rubber dolls. Those who gift seem to think of gifting similar items. Would it happen this way otherwise ?
“Only you and I can play with these balls” said Appa
“So what ? Let your son have some laughs at our expense.” she replied.
My parents were proud of Appa’s boss attending the function and presenting a hile silver cloth dress and used to repeatedly talk of it. Whether the boss remembered it or not, this was one of the happiest memories of my parents’ married life.
Five years later, he took me one day to his office. It was a holiday and there was a celebration of some sort in the office. I am not usually taken to the office because my father was apprehensive that someone may make some kind of improper comment, while mother also opined that it was not proper to take me to work places. So this was the only occasion when Appa took me to his office. Everyone there hugged me. I saw Appa’s boss for the first time there. Appa was rather afraid of him. But he was so friendly and affectionate. Rubbing me on the back, he asked my father “Is he your son ?” What elaborate antics Appa peformed just to answer “Yes !”. He twisted his buttons, rubbed his watch, scratched his head and struggled to find the right word. But I remained confident. Without ceasing to rub my back, the Boss said “He appears to be a very intelligent lad. You do not bring him here at all. We last saw him on his birthday.. a full five years ago !”
On returning home, Appa related all his Boss’ statements to Amma who hung on every word he uttered and happily probed him for more details and asked him to repeat it again and again. Appa was only too happy to oblige ! He usually used to retort with a “I just told you everything. How many times should I repeat ?” when she asked him to repeat. But now, he was repeating his story with relish..
“You naughty feller” I said and tried to catch him. But then before I realized what had happened, he had slipped out. I realized I was all alone in the room..
No comments:
Post a Comment